Floating Through The Blur

There’s a strange phenomenon that happens when life hits you with everything its got and you start to feel like you’re watching a movie of your own life instead of living it. You look around and the question actually echoes in your head: Is this actually my reality? Am I really here? Like seriously.

The last year has been less like a walk and more like a high-speed sprint through a dense fog. It’s been incredibly difficult, yet somehow, against the odds, I’m still here.

The world keeps spinning, your professional life ramps up, the business you poured your soul into is expanding and thriving.. depending on what you define thriving as.. buuut instead of feeling the high of success you feel detached. The engine is running but the driver is feeling completely empty. Hey that’s me! My body is at the shop but my mind is still processing the wreckage of the last twelve plus months. If you’ve ever felt this intense disconnection between your busy successful life and your depleted self, then you know exactly what I mean. By every metric, I’ve achieved stability and success. Maybe the goal isn't to work towards something external anymore, but to work on something internal. It's about finding that “I’m all in on life” feeling again regardless of how busy the business is. It’s about finding the connection that brings the color back into the blur. So what will I do today to reclaim a tiny piece of that personal color?

Probably just listen to this song on repeat all day: Elliot Moss- Without the Lights. Maybe actually make an IG post.

Speaking of posting, Thanksgiving is already sneaking up. My mom will be in Cali, one brother in Maine and the other in Vermont. I’ll be making cheese boards if I actually post about it.. I’ll do that today.

Anyway, maybe next time my blog will be less of whatever I just wrote and more of the good stuff you love hearing about.