Fully Booked, Stress Sweat, and the Body of Water That Keeps Me Sane

Well hi again, it’s me with another week in the books, and baby was it a week.

Lots of catering. Lots of momming. Lots of emails. Lots of me opening an email, reading half of it, thinking “I’ll answer this in a minute,” and then remembering it approximately three business days later while brushing my teeth. And Main family. I’m gonna email you soon!

I’ve been a little slow answering everyone. I know. I’m sorry! It requires pulling numbers and brain, which, as you all know, mine tends to stall out on a weekly basis. We’re working on it.

Tuesday is where the chaos begins

My busy starts on Tuesday with just thinking about prep for Wednesday, finalizing orders, checking details, making sure everything is in order for the weekend, produce and cheese are in the fridge, and generally pretending I have a strategy.

I kind of do have a strategy, actually.

Every week I’m like, “Okay, I’ll do this by this time, then this by that time, and everything will be smooth and organized.”

And then my procrastination hits hard.

Not a little tap on the shoulder. A full-body tackle.

Suddenly it’s Wednesday afternoon and I’m looking at a list I made Wednesday morning thinking, “Interesting. Why did Past Abby believe Future Abby would be more motivated?”

Future Abby is exhausted, Past Abby is delusional, and Present Abby is standing in the shop surrounded by containers.

Still, I get it done. That’s the thing about owning a business, I guess. You can be scattered, forgetful, mildly overwhelmed, and somehow still produce beautiful food for the end of the week. The human brain is fascinating and also deeply inconvenient.

Wednesday is also when I start thinking about meal prep and what I think people will like. I have a good running client list, so I’ve been figuring out what people usually order and what they seem to enjoy.

The whole menu is fall inspired this week, which feels very correct for the current vibe.

- Rosemary cider short ribs with maple sweet potato puree

- Maple Dijon pork loin with French onion mashed potatoes

- Roasted red pepper and tomato soup

- Egg, cheese, boursin and hashbrown on croissant sammy

- Cinnamon apple crumble overnight oats

It’s a little strategic.

I want to make sure everyone is happy and fed and keeps coming back every week. I’m paying attention to the patterns, the favorites, the things people ask for again and again. There’s a lot of mental math involved, except I’m not really a math person, so sometimes it feels like I’m trying to solve a word problem.

I may open up a few more slots soon. Physically, I probably can.

Mentally?

That’s a separate conversation.

I’m trying to be careful not to burn myself out because it’s pretty easy. You add one more order here, squeeze in one more delivery there, say yes to one more thing because you really want to help, and suddenly you’re eating crackers over the sink at 9:47 p.m. while wondering if you have ever known peace.

Which is exactly why I block off work for vacation so often.

Yes, I own a business. Yes, I love what I do. Yes, I also need to be free and find a body of water.

Ocean. Pond. Bath. Doesn’t matter.

Put me near water and I become a different girl. A calmer girl. A girl who may still have 14 unanswered emails, but she is looking at a lake, so honestly, who can ask more of her?

My brain is doing the most

I couldn’t even explain what is happening in my brain during the week.

It’s so much all at the same time.

Orders, meals, shopping lists, invoices, messages, ingredients, family stuff, cleaning, planning, remembering that I need to follow up with someone, forgetting to follow up with someone, remembering that I forgot, and then deciding that the best time to deal with it is absolutely not right now.

I am not an organized person at all.

Very scatterbrained. Very forgetful. Very much “where did I put my phone?” while actively holding my phone.

It’s probably stress. I know that. I can feel when my brain is running too hot, and I’m trying to be more aware of it instead of just pushing through until I become an uncommunicative cheese witch.

I’m determined not to be that version of Abby for you.

I want to be responsive. I want to be reliable. I want to make sure people feel taken care of when they order from Graze. Sometimes I just need a minute to gather all the numbers, pull the brain back online, and remember what day it is.

Thank you for being patient with me while I do that.

Fully booked, slightly sweaty

This week was fully booked, which is a wonderful thing and also a thing that makes my nervous system go into overdrive.

I had a workshop, too, and there was a slight mishap that made me stress sweat so badly.

You know the kind.

Not cute “I’ve been busy” sweat. I mean the kind where you suddenly become aware of your entire body and think, “Oh no. Is everyone looking at me? Can they tell I’m panicking? Am I smiling normally or do I look like I’m trying to escape a hostage situation?”

In retrospect, it wasn’t as bad as it felt in the moment. Also, this time it wasn’t my doing but I still died a little that night.

That’s the annoying part about anxiety. It takes a situation that is maybe a 4 out of 10 and adds dramatic lighting, ominous music, and a documentary crew.

Everything worked out. The workshop happened. Nobody had to be airlifted out. The cheese survived.

But here I am, five days later, still procrastinating on a follow-up email I need to send.

Because apparently the mishap is over, but now the email has become the new villain.

I’m going to send it.

I am.

Probably after I finish this blog. Maybe immediately after. Maybe I’ll write it, stare at it, make one unnecessary change, and then send it at 11:58 p.m. like a professional.

Which reminds me: I also need to email the market manager for the winter market because I haven’t gotten my dates yet.

So.

Hmm.

Adding that to the list.

A Barre129 win!

I did another Barre129 drop-off this week, and I love them. Honestly, this one went smoothly. Like, suspiciously smoothly.

No major panic. No dramatic last-minute scramble. No standing in the parking lot questioning every decision that led me there. Just a nice, successful drop-off where everything went the way it was supposed to go.

Listen, I’m only human. I make many, MANY mistakes. Sometimes I forget something. Sometimes I overbook my own brain. Sometimes I’m trying to answer an email while also thinking about fruit quantities and whether there are enough clean containers.

But this time?

Smooth sailing.

Small wins!

We’ll be back at the end of October, and I’m already looking forward to it. There is something so satisfying about getting into a rhythm with a client and learning what works. You figure out the timing, the portions, the preferences, the little details that make everything easier the next time around.

That’s the part people don’t always see. A successful drop-off is not just “food delivered.” It’s remembering what a client likes, planning ahead, packing carefully, communicating clearly, and hoping your brain has not hidden an important note in the mental junk drawer.

This one felt good.

Last-minute catering? Ask anyway!

Even during a fully booked week, it’s always worth reaching out if you have a last-minute gathering coming up.

Graze accepts last-minute catering orders with a few hours’ notice when possible. I can’t promise we’ll always be able to make it happen, especially when the week is packed, but I will always take a look and see what we can do.

We can help with platterboxes, snack boxes, croissant sandwiches, grazing tables, and other catering options depending on availability.

A few hours’ notice is not always ideal, but sometimes we have the ingredients, the time, and just enough remaining brain power to pull it together.

And honestly, I’m a people pleaser with access to cheese, so you never know.

I’m tired, but I’m grateful

I don’t want to pretend this business is easy. It isn’t. Some weeks feel like I’m carrying 12 grocery bags in one hand while trying to unlock the front door with my elbow. There are moments when I wonder how I’m going to finish everything, answer everyone, keep up with the house, feed the tiny person who lives here, and remember to drink water before my body starts withering away.

But I also don’t want to overlook how lucky I am. People keep ordering. People keep trusting us with their gatherings. People keep coming back.

I get to make food that becomes part of birthdays, meetings, celebrations, workshops, family get-togethers, and random weekends when everyone decides cheese counts as dinner. Which, for the record, I fully support.

This week was busy. It was stressful. There was stress sweat. There are still emails I need to send. My winter market dates are floating around somewhere in the universe waiting for me to ask about them. But we made it through. The Barre129 drop-off went smoothly.

I snagged Oasis tickets for next summer, which was annoying to wait on Friday morning in the middle of the day with meetings and work, but everything went smoothly.

Saturday was a 12-hour work day and my body did not appreciate it one bit. I finally got those three loads of laundry folded and put away, vacuumed the house, and sanitized all the surfaces because my little one was feeling less than great this week. Poor guy had it rough! The workshop survived. Orders went out. Deliveries tomorrow. People got fed. I’m still standing. That’s a win.

So I’m going to keep working on the systems, keep trying to answer emails in a timely manner, keep figuring out how many orders I can realistically handle, and keep blocking off time to go find a body of water before I turn into a walking calendar notification.

Thank you for being patient with me, supporting Graze, and letting me figure this all out in real time. You guys are the best, truly.

Now I’m going to send that email. I mean it.

Okay, first I’m going to shower. Then take my mom to dinner. Then I’m going to send the email.

Maybe.

Love you all!

XX,

Abby

Song of the week: Ethel Cain-Knuckle Velvet (feat. Yah Wav)

Sometimes you just need a song that matches your dramatic inner monologue. Ethel Cain has no bad songs. One of my favorites is unreleased and it’s called Tongue but you can find it on YouTube. It’s top-tier. An absolute experience. Hayden has a very uncanny way of capturing a very specific kind of American gothic atmosphere and I. AM. HERE. FOR. IT. Heavy but comforting. That’s all. BYE.

BARRE129 ladies are THE BEST!

Those French onion mashed potatoes were a labor of absolute love and affection.

Miss Jaycee with the loaded rice krispy treats!

The workshop. The drama. It’s done. We survived. Send me a glass of Sav Blanc, stat.